26 days of filmery!

Ok... so I've been utterly rubbish at keeping to my plan of updating this blog since exams ended, but now I've had a little while being at home, alone, no job and with no money to venture out I plan on actually sticking to it. My other plan is to have a 26 day film alphabet thingy to get my other blog started up again. The plan is each day I will watch a film beginning with a different letter of the alphabet, I'm working on the list tonight but will soon post my finished plan. Watch this space...

Some old quotes from year 12!

"Well if I were married to Mr Seager..." Jo

"D'ya remember when I walked into the dining room in my underwear and thought it was lucy but it was her brother?""Maybe it was the thought of that that drove him upstairs..." Caitlin and Heather

"I'm going to cut my hair short and then I can have it curly so I'll look like Alan Davies..." Jo (it's actually more like James may's haircut)

"I'm in the ready position" Tom

"dad's put on rainbow [on the tv]... no wait... I mean rambo." Juliet

"What do you have to do with this question?""answer it" me and then a girl from explore... I suppose I wasn't really clear...

"Oh Gee""Do you think Gee is the short for jesus?""Could be... because there's also Geez of course""Yeah but you spell Geez: G-e-e-s-e""er no Juliet, that's geese" Jo and Juliet

"You know you just wrote "Yeah" Y-E-A, well my stomach said it in the same way" Juliet

"I've always wanted to know what your plug hole looks like" Sam

"I like bonding" Mr Seager

"I teach year ten and above""lucky you""yes lucky me, it means I don't have to teach little people. sorry Jo"- Dr Noble and Laura

"Jo, Boron?" Dr Noble

"Heather and Jo sitting in a tree... oops." Laura

"aww look at that dog. I feel so sorry for it. look at its face it's like it's saying 'I'm so ugly I'll never get a girlfriend" Juliet

"I'm bored, I've got nothing to do""Let's do something together" Jo and Caitlin

"I don't want to do it 3,000,000 times a day Jo just give me three minutes, I'm not a machine" Caitlin

"I am totally above you people" Jo

"Dirty Girl stroke my leg" Caitlin

"...peer led sex education, did anyone go?""Yeah, why?""I'm just interested in bonding" Mr Seager and Kim

"Doesn't chess make you more intelligent?""Not if you play with a seven year old""sorry Jo" mr seager and Caitlin

"Jo, what are you sucking on?""I'm not I'm blowing" Caitlin and Jo

"but then you have wet nuts" Jo

"remember Fractions are your friends" Mr Seager

"she was the first in our clinic" Kim (talking about her mum's contraception)

"we should get you drunk more often" Kim (to Jo)

[when asked if she wanted to move somewhere more comfortable by Kim]"no...no...the square... the square root...no" Jo in my sleep)

"all I can think about is polynomials" Jo while in bed

"how do you spell polynomials?""p-o-l-y-n-o-m-i-a-l-s" Kim then Jo (very fluent and drunk)

*quoting the rules of indices* Jo when drunk

[after seeing kim write]"what are you doing? are you completeing the square?" Jo

"what's the quadratic formula?"*quotes formula clearly and quickly* kim and a drunk Jo

"I love polynomials" Jo

"Can I clean your board for you?" Laura

"Then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love Polynomials" Laura

"what would you be if you had a sex change""err... a man?" someone then katy.

"You've got a hand like zepidee's head, it pops up at every occasion" Dr Noble

"Nobody sleeps with me" Terry

"I often bring him up" Jo (about Seager)

"That's Heather's wand you're playing with" Lucy to Jo

"Heather's wand is getting a bit limp" Lucy

"I want a friend" Jo (I hadn't finished)

"Do you know what my name is?" Kim

"I like c**k" Jo

"It's like... we could break up but... well... I'd be f**ked" Jo (about the song "god only knows")

"I like a guy who feeds me... graham fed me" Jo

"was that you or an angry cat?" Heather to Kim

"Is that a candle in your cassock or are you just pleased to see me" Jo (about Alan Rickman *looks up*)

"by deduction I would assume that you two were also a couple" Dr Palmer (about cat and emily)

"Things are definitely going 'boing' below" Mrs Owers

"He's definitely going to be having a fiddle" Mrs Owers

"I want to sandwich Dr Nobel" Jo

"You and Seager should definitely be lovers" Sam (to Jo)

"Jo, Why are you sitting with the staff?""Because Jo's important" Laura and Dr Palmer

"We are the same person we're not going to be completely different" Emily (to Jo)

"If I could pull off that outfit I would" Heather (to Jo)

"That's not the way to get into a girls pants Jo""Jenna, I'm gay, I don't want to get into your pants" Jenna and Jo

"I think one should be called four so that the numbers are in alphabetical order as well as numerical order" Juliet

"I want Mr Adams at 10 past" Emily

"I do admit to a weakness in long division" UNKNOWN

"Gooseberries are green and hairy but you're a lemon, which are sexy and yellow" Jo [to Kim]

"Jo will not refer to herself in the third person" Jo

"I think women are too complicated, I don't understand them""I find women easy to understand because I get their complicatedness, men are difficult to get because they're so simple and that confuses me""Yea but you're a woman" Jo and Emily

"Wouldn't Eddie [Izzard] and Stevie [Fry] make a lovely couple? Although Eddie's neither gay or bi so it would be rather uncomfortable for him." Jo

"But you don't like talking about this sort of stuff""I LIKE S*X!" Heather and Jo

"Mr seager knows everything theoretical but mr Duxbury knows everything practical""yeah together they would make the perfect man" Emily and Jo

"I cant wait till im 18! drinking and driving!!" Jo

"18.10 - stopped to get some c**k" Jo

"It's all for you Jo" Kim [talking about her hooker boots]

"No I won't lend you a protractor, you'll revise!" Jo

"ihaterevisionimboredihadlasagneforlunchiburntmytongue" Jo [in one breath]

"Is that my plate, yes it is because that's my rice, I thought it was nice, it was not" Jo

"That's not his leg why did I say that?" Jo [all as one sentence]

"You know Jo, you're wearing the same outfit as Mr Cameron today" Heather

"Yea, but you're all WOMEN!!" Jo

"So how long have you had this crush on Mr Seager" Dr Noble [not true... the bastard! this was followed by me calling him mr seager by accident]

"CAN I DO MR OWERS!!!! I WANT TO DO HIM! LET ME! LET ME!" Jo [this is in reference to doing his leaving speech but it didn't sound like it at the time]

"Dr Noble Dr Noble! Take advantage of Jo!" Laura

Favouritist Films

I was trying to work out my top five favourite films and realised it was impossible... I can do top five Boyle Films:

1. Slumdog Millionaire
2. Trainspotting
3. The Beach
4. 28 Days Later
5. Shallow Grave

I can do Tarantino:

1. Reservoir dogs
2. Four Rooms
3. True Romance
4. Pulp Fiction
5. From Dusk Till Dawn

It gets so tricky to pick five though, just five out of the the hundreds of amazing films that exist... I could try to do a top 20 though... here they are in alphabetical order:

American Beauty
Beach, The
Fight Club
Four Rooms
Game, The
Hot Fuzz
Illusionist, The
Machinest, The
Matrix, The
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
Pan's Labyrinth
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
Slumdog Millionaire
Time Machine, The
True Romance
Usual Suspects
V For Vendetta

Actually no... there are some missing... Grrr this is too hard, how do people do it???

Piers Morgan, arrogant, ignorant and a "pea-brained twit"

Okay sooo... it being exams and all meant mucho insomnia, therefore I decided to go on a nice scour of the web looking for interesting and banal stuff to read, this is where I came across Piers Morgan's website (this obviously falling into the "banal" catergory). On this site I found his "daily rants" one was about Twitter... he is a dick, I complained, this is what I wrote:

I hate the way people do this. We get it, you don’t like it, but there is clearly something about it people enjoy. Some of the most talented, intelligent and interesting people are on it, many of whom are far more successful and influential than you could ever hope to be you ignorant little man. It is clear just from this that it isn’t perhaps as “purile” as you state. From twitter I’ve had the opportunity to feel connected to some of my heroes, people who have had a massive influence upon my life such as Stephen Fry and Eddie Izzard, I’ve been able to receive updates from NASA and the astronaut Mike Massimino who actually tweeted from space and I’ve spoken to new like minded people from all over the world. What is brilliant about it is it’s simplistic nature, you don’t spend hours on it as with facebook and myspace, you merely log on, update and see what others are up to. It doesn’t take over your life and you can still go out and talk to “real” people. I’m not saying you have to like it, that would be idiotic, I’m saying just accept just because you don’t understand it don’t just assume it’s stupid. And another thing, these “pea-brained little Twits” are your fans, respect them as they respect you.

Harsh? maybe a little... True? 100%.


Yes, that's right... no more exams for me! Well, that is until retakes... but I have a while.

So, my post exams plan: Finish the script to send off to the BBC, put together a stand up act, learn the dance to Let's get ready to rumble, start updating this beautiful blog on a more regular basis!

Peter Serafinowicz looks like... Liv Tyler?!

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Vintage photos - Free family history

Grade rant spawned by "The New Show"

I was hunting through the radio four shows on iplayer and discovered this Punt and Dennis sketch show which is a jolly good laugh and generally correct however they did touch on a subject that makes me very very angry, which is about the new grading system for A Levels.

What everyone seems to think is that they've just added on some marks which is not true, currently the marking system works as follows:a U is less than 40%, an E is 40-49%, a D is 50-59%, a C is 60-69%, a B is 70-79% and an A is 80-100%. The idea of the new A* grade is to award the students with high As (90%+) with a little more recognition. I went to a very good school "top 5% of the country" we were often told and I had many friends who insisted upon retaking exams if they got less than 90%, even though they already has A grades; although I found this insane, I am pleased that these sort of students will get something more for their extra efforts.

As far as the "Exams are too easy" mentality goes, it makes me pretty irrate. Life is very difficult and youths today in many ways have stresses and expectations of them that were perhaps not present in previous years. I'm an intelligent person, I went to a very good school, I was a member of Mensa and I study Theoretical Physics, but I didn't do as well as I should have done because of the stresses and strains of modern life and the pressures that we feel today. I felt completely demoralised and what didn't help was sitting in the pub after, watching the news on the TVs they seem to have in all pubs these days, and seeing the BBC go on and on about how easy exams were.

Another positive by having all these students that achieve high grades making it "harder for Universities to choose students" is that they start to look for other characteristics which are in many ways equally important. There is now a far greater focus on what you have done for the community, how you have planned for the future with work experience and the like, whether you were a hard working student and in general a nice person which to me is a good thing as these are important qualities.

This does create a very different university system I grant you. For example Stephen Fry: who was continually kicked out of or "asked to leave" various schools, spent a stint in prison and didn't even continue to 18; got into Cambridge University. (I am in no way critising Mr Fry I am one of his biggest fans and very much understand how he suffers). Nowadays this just wouldn't happen, it's no longer a question of super intelligence (not that they ever accept thickos) it's about who you are, and this is good.

To Summarise: You old people who have no idea, stop it. They are not easy, it is good to recognise high grades, and we work very hard.

Rant Over.