Am I.... growing up?

I've suffered from Bipolar throughout my adolesence, so I feel I've lost out a little as it does ruin your innocence and hope a little; then when I was 14 I attempted suicide, that really does destroy any childish views of life. However, I've always tried to stay quite young at heart, I like my toys and I enjoy pissing about childishly... well at least I did. What I've noticed recently is I think I may have actually grown up. :(

As the whole of Britain is aware, it's been snowing over the past couple of days, which ordinarily would fill me with excitement and a childish need to go out and throw snow at my friends however this time it was merely something preventing me from safetly getting to sainsburys without slipping down the hill. I actually wanted to be more excited but the only enjoyment I got out of it was watching it settle under a very early morning sky, which to me says old...

My interests all seem to be that of an older person as well, I don't enjoy the loud music and dancing my peers relish in. I like a trip to a quite pub for a meal and a coke, I like a good film or a well written TV program, I've even taken to watching countdown and University Challenge on the internet.

I'm really not sure how I feel about this either. I'm thinking it's too soon, I'm only 18. Alas.

J x